Divorce, the dirty word.
Why is a wedding photographer writing about this? Well in truth I don’t really know, something in my soul said, time to talk.
They say that half of all marriages end in divorce, half! thats a large number.
My own 1st marriage ended (when I sort the paperwork that is) in divorce. There’s so many reasons this happens, they cheat, lie, or sometimes maybe your just not right for each other? you change, you grow, you don’t see the same person you used to see.
Something thats so true though is, nothing hurts more than heartbreak, that I do know. Having my heart broken was one of the worst pains in my life and that’s something I never forgot.
But I did move on from that point. I’m strong, proud and I’m happy again. I’m really looking forward to marrying the man I’m with, who’s an amazing dad and step dad. It truly was the best thing although the most hurtful thing for me.
Its something magical to photograph peoples weddings, to be there with them on their days and see the love and you know what, they are in love and at that point in time, it’s just perfect.
But time moves on and things do change. I can’t tell who will live happily ever after and who won’t. I’m often asked this though. Years later I’ll be chatting to one of the parted couple and they ask me “did you see it coming” No, I didn’t, I never do, I didn’t even see it coming with myself.
I make lifelong friends when I photograph weddings, I’ve gone on to photograph 2nd weddings or renewals, have play dates with kids or just catch up on a personal bases. I do get the chance to see how happiness comes back to those who are heartbroken, I see women and men grow and become a whole new person and I also see people make up, get back together and re married!
Divorce has become such a dirty word, it brings people pain, shame. But we need to talk about it at times, we need to say “its ok it didn’t work” because it means now you walk down a different path, move on, and grow.
So I moved on, I had 3 beautiful children with my 1st husband and I’ll forever be thankful to him for that, I co parent with him, we raise our kids well. He’s happy and I’m getting married again to my Mr perfect (whom I’m been blessed to have another 3 children with) and I’m stronger than I ever was before.
So if you find that it’s not worked out, don’t see it as the end, it’s not… it’s the start of a new path, a new adventure. I know it hurts, I know that sick, gutted empty feeling in your stomach, nothing hurts like it. I also know your strong, brave and you will be happy again.
Some tip’s below are.
- Don’t take hate into your heart, it’ll consume you more than the other person.
- Be strong, firm and fair.
- Get legal advise asap.
- The best form of revenge is success (I was once told this many years ago when I found out what happened. It was the best advise, to focus on my own life and to make my life happy and strong, thats all I needed to ever do to be the better person).
- Believe in yourself, your future and know you’ll be happy again.
Divorce maybe your choice or not, but you’ll mourn the loss, the loss of that friend, that partner, lover. Just that person in your life. Its ok to be sad, it’s ok to mourn the loss.
You can DIY divorce these days too. for those who both choose it as the right thing. (click link) Advice on divorce.
Divorce is NOT a dirty word.